Marketing Guru Todd Soolamon

The Boundaryless Marketing System by Todd Soolamon

Boundaryless Marketing (BM) isn't just a regular bowel movement. It isn't even the runs. It's explosive diarrhea directly in your customer's face.

You constantly have to ask yourself, is this idea a turd? Or is it a yellow turd? Is it the kind of disgusting, sickening, putrefied yellow turd that you never forget the smell?

MOB stands for Make Others Believe. It is the leadership that people really want. You are a MOB leader when you can persuade people to smash their own face into a yellow turd.

Praise for Todd Soolamon

"Todd Soolamon certainly practices what he preaches. I have never met a more obnoxious, self-centered, insensitive human being in my life." — Jim Bursch, creator of MyMindshare

"Todd is awesome! Not only do I use his techniques for marketing my e-book, but I also use them to pick up knarly chicks." — Brian Dinkins, author of "Moronic Marketing for Morons," single and living in his mother's garage

Excerpts

Social Media is a gay bathhouse in the 1980's. It's the perfect medium for spreading your virus idea.

Friending never means no. It is permission to rape.

Is your virus idea like HIV? Ebola? Hepatitis A? The best marketing ideas are like HIV, using sex to reach an ideal demographic group with high disposable income and lots of celebrity endorsements.

E-mail marketing is like anal sex. The hard part is getting your customers to try it, but as soon as you've made the initial entry, it's very easy to get them to try anything.

Leadership by example is dumb. The whole point of leadership is to get other people to do things for you, or things you wouldn't do yourself.

Never lead people over a cliff when you can just point them at the cliff and they'll go over themselves.

Loyalty equals obedience. Otherwise, loyalty is useless.

Betrayal is failed manipulation. Next time try harder.

A small number of dedicated people can change the world. The Nazi Party was an excellent example of this principle.

Yellow turds are rarely found floating in the toilet after taking a healthy dump. They are usually found on your shoe after walking through a crowded room.

You want people to smell your yellow turd long before they ever see it.

Some people live their entire lives only smelling other people's yellow turds. That's the difference between a producer and a consumer.

There is no such thing as a yellow fart.

Some people may confuse your fart with a yellow turd, but you will know the difference.

Passing a fart as a yellow turd is walking a fine ethical line.

People can see a yellow turd. They can only smell a fart.